Review: G.I. Joe The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Director: Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing)

Cast: Channing Tatum (Coach Carter, Step Up), Marlon Wayans (Scary Movie, White Chicks), Rachel Nichols (Alias, P2), Dennis Quaid (The Rookie, Vantage Point), Joseph Gordon-Levitt (10 Things I Hate About You, (500) Days of Summer), Sienna Miller (Factory Girl, Stardust), Christopher Eccleston (Heroes, Doctor Who), Ray Park (Star Wars Episode I, X-Men), Byung-hun Lee (Hero), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Lost, Oz), Said Taghmaoui (Lost, Vantage Point)

The Deal: Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity (GI Joe) is composed of the world's best operatives and soldiers, led by General Hawk (Quaid). When weapons expert and arms dealer James McCullen's (Eccleston) nanotechnology-based weaponry capable of destroying entire cities is stolen, G.I. Joe is tasked with tracking down the terrorist organization responsible, Cobra. New recruits Duke (Tatum) and Ripcord (Wayans) team up with veterans Scarlett (Nichols), Snake Eyes (Park), and Heavy Duty (Akinnuoye-Agbaje) to battle Baroness (Miller), Storm Shadow (Lee), and Cobra super-soldiers in order to re-obtain the weapons and save the world.

Thoughts: Whether or not you like the film will greatly depend on your familiarity with the G.I. Joe universe. The film is fairly corny, but there's lots of cool tech and action sequences, and if you know nothing of G.I. Joe, you'll probably find the film quite entertaining. But, if like me, you grew up with G.I. Joe, the creative liberties taken will probably deeply aggravate you and overshadow many chances to really enjoy the film. In a way though, the film is exactly what people are looking for in a summer flick. It knows it's not a serious film, and many will find it an enjoyable popcorn-munching summer film.

I have to slightly forgive the actors for any poor performances they may have given, as I found the script to be pretty awful at times. I found myself laughing out loud at how corny some of the lines were, and no fault can be thrown on the actors for that. For the most part, the characters were cast fairly well. The actors and actresses fit their roles, and they did a decent enough job. No one was great, but no one was any worse than another to have me single them out.

If you are familiar with G.I. Joe, some things will make you happy. Scarlett is toting a crossbow, Snake Eyes says nothing, Destro does get his shinny head, and the underwater Cobra fortress just screams vintage G.I. Joe. Where the real frustrations begin is with the absolute butchery of relationships and it ends with what I deem an unforgivable character modification. Duke and Baroness have a romantic history for some reason, and she evens becomes a good guy by the end of the film, though that probably won't last. Instead of Scarlett being torn between Duke and Snake Eyes, she only seems to show any interest towards Ripcord. And as for the unforgivable modification, Cobra Commander has neither his trademark hood or helmet. Instead he sports a ridiculous clear face mask. What should have been a truly menacing villain became a laughing stock of pathetic.

One thing I noticed during the climactic final battle was that the submarine scene seemed to be ripped straight from Independence Day. Upon mentioning this to my brother, he couldn't stop laughing at how true that was. The scene I'm referring to is when Duke and Baroness are trying to escape the crumbling underwater fortress, and there's a maze of tunnels and lots of enemies chasing them, and they have to get to the end before the door closes on them. This is strikingly similar to the escape Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum made from the alien mother-ship. They dropped a bomb and had a short period of time to navigate out through a "maze" filled with enemy ships, and of course, the exit door was fast closing. I really would have liked to see a little more originality from G.I. Joe.

Verdict: Though frustrating for those who grew up with G.I. Joe, the film will prove entertaining for those not familiar. It's not a serious film, but it's the action-happy popcorn-munching type of summer film many like to see. ☆☆1/2